Having had absolutely no experience of hypnosis, I haven't had a clue what to expect and was really nervous the first time round.
It's nothing like what you'd expect from watching TV. There is no finger clicking to wake you up, and you remember everything that has been said to you. As far as I know I won't start clucking like a chicken any time soon!!
It seems to be more about relaxing your mind as much as possible, then making positive suggestions to your subconsciousness that will hopefully improve your day to day life.
At my first appointment, the Doctor talked me through my issues and concerns so that we could agree on what areas we wanted him to cover during the hypnosis. It's nothing like a therapy or counselling session, we didn't talk about anything in great detail and he wasn't there to offer me advice or an opinion on what he thought we should cover. For this reason, it would only really be useful to people who already have a good understanding of their issues and their triggers, I wouldn't recommend it otherwise.
It's funny but because I am trying not to get too emotional on a daily basis, as part of my coping mechanism so I can function and look after the kids, I don't ever stop to think about my problems and really analyse them very much.
When I do start to think about them and discuss them it inevitably makes me emotional, but then, I'm so sensitive I sometimes think I could get emotional about a sandwich.
I know my main areas to work on are:
- Low self esteem
- Lack of confidence
- Fear of judgement
- Overthinking
- Anxiety about work
I guess the low self esteem is really the root cause of all of the others, and indeed in previous therapy and counselling sessions it has been identified as one of the causes of my depression. I've known this for some time but I've found that knowing it, and being able to change it are two different things.
I think I tweeted a few weeks back - how do you train your mind to be gentle to you when all it's every known is critique, judgement and negativity?
As the Doctor and I discussed my issues he explained that one of the good things about hypnosis is that it doesn't involve you having to try to do anything yourself, that you don't have to retrain your mind to think differently because it focuses on your subconscious. As it is naturally a very calming and pleasant experience it's meant to be particularly good for anxiety and when we'd concluded the list above he seemed really confident that he was going to be able to help me.
The hypnosis sessions firstly focuses on getting you to a relaxed state of mind. I wouldn't call it a trance at all, just very calm and peaceful. I automatically close my eyes everytime but the Doctor has never asked me to. I lie down too, but again this was personal preference.
It then falls in to two parts. He focuses in the first half on my fear of judgement, overthinking things and lack of confidence, going through each one and telling me that it's not going to bother me anymore, emphasising positive statements and phrases. The second half is spent focusing on my work anxiety using visualisation to imagining it just falling away and not bothering me anymore. He talks me through a scenario where I open a gate to a beautiful garden, find a pond and drop a large stone that represents my issues to the bottom of it, watching it sink. Then I leave the garden and shut the gate firmly behind me.
I love the beautiful garden. I am so relaxed by that point I can picture it so vividly, I can hear the sounds, smell the flowers and see the water rippling on the pond. It's extremely clever and very satisfying, particularly walking away and shutting the gate everytime.
Does it work though? Well I still think it's too early to really tell.
I've had two sessions so far, both very similar although I relaxed a little more quickly today, I guess because I know what to expect now.
Last weeks session left me feeling extremely calm and relaxed all day. The usual anxiety provoking thoughts plagued me but interestingly I found it much easier to shrug them off, and to let them go without them bothering me. It only lasted a day though, the next day I cried through an entire visit from my Health Visitor, as mentioned in my previous post.
Today's session has had a similar effect in respect of being able to dismiss all my usual negative and emotional thoughts more easily, and I've found that I've been really chatty and talkative with people that I don't even know so perhaps I'm feeling more confident too?
I would say though that the I've not been remotely calm and relaxed today, as a result of Sophie being full of tantrums and bad behaviour, but as that's not one of the things we're specifically working on I guess that doesn't necessarily mean anything?
The Doctor has advised me that it takes a few weeks to build up and the effects should last longer each time. It's a good sign, apparently, that I'm seeing effects at all as this means it has a good chance of really helping me.
I do sometimes think, maybe it's not having any effect at all and it's all just in my mind - but then, that's exactly where it's meant to be! And who cares how it works as long as it does?!
I'll keep you posted! :-)
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